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The Fallacy Of Black Lives Matter And The Alleged War On Blacks: A Mixed Girl's Perspective

I’m mixed. biracial. mulatto.

Whatever you want to call it, I’m half black. half white.

Which makes me something of a conundrum within the black community, a community where you’re either in or you’re way WAY out, where if you’re not for the cause you’re for The Man. So long as us half-breeds toe the proverbial line—talk black, think black, act black—the “one drop” rule still applies and we’re a welcome part of the club. Act contrary though, and, oh I don’t know, start pronouncing your “e”’s and “r”’s, vote Republican, or do any other number of things that white people do and all of a sudden you were never black to begin with, or you’re just an ignorant white-washed Oreo Uncle Tom, which is even worse.

For a long time I cared a lot about how I was perceived by the black community and stressed a great deal about where/how/if I fit into it, going so far as to pretending I liked rap music and buying a bunch of Baby Phat clothes (yes, this was the early 2000s). I went through a somewhat extended racial identity crisis that began in college (the first time I was ever called an Oreo, actually) and which I finally made peace with only last year.

I’ve thought a lot about race over the last decade as I’ve tried to resolve my personal insecurities and make sense of how my own life and family experiences compare with the black narrative that dominates US pop culture and sociopolitical thought these days. Probably not more so than the last couple years, however, since Michael Brown got shot and the entire nation collectively lost its mind.

Because that black narrative that was only pseudo-popular and only discussed on the fringe before Michael Brown and Black Lives Matter—that all problems within black communities can be attributed to whites, past and present, individual and institutional, that all blacks are oppressed by this system, and that all whites, thanks to their malignant white privilege, are the cogs that intentionally or unintentionally drive this racist machine—is now mainstream, front and center, and broadcast constantly.

It has now been deemed the only socially and morally acceptable way to frame discussions regarding race.

And if you’re white, don’t even think about speaking publicly about race. But if you do, make sure you begin by 1. Apologizing profusely for being white 2. Lamenting your guilt about your unearned white privilege and then 3. Dive straight into the aforementioned talking points ^^^.

But that whole tune never sat right with me: 1. Because it didn’t seem accurate 2. It didn’t seem productive and 3. It didn’t seem fair, to whites or blacks; it certainly wasn’t my story, and while my dad experienced discrimination and bigotry first hand, and his parents were hit with way more than he was, I was raised to view the world through a very different lens.

I’ve been finding that the more this narrative is shoved in my face by blacks and whites, friends and the media, the more it upsets me, to the point that I’ve hardly thought about anything else these past two weeks. And these past two weeks I’ve seen so much #BlackLivesMatter I thought I might have an aneurysm.

To put it plainly, I don’t support the Black Lives Matter movement; I’ve been wary of it since it became wildly popular after Ferguson.

There are so so so many reasons I won’t get behind it. It’s divisive. It’s inflammatory. It’s inaccurate. It exploitive. It’s illogical and devoid of objectivity, sound reasoning or fact. And sadly, my guess is that most people who use the hashtag have never actually read any of their literature and don’t really know what they stand for.

Take Ferguson for example.

Even after separate federal and county investigations were conducted, and in light of physical and forensic evidence and corroborating witness testimony which proved Michael Brown stole from a convenience store, physically threatened the owner, brutally attacked a police officer and attempted to steal his gun (again, proven by DNA, forensic, and physical evidence and witness testimony), Black Lives Matter still claims that Brown’s death was unjustified murder. They’ve never condemned Brown’s criminal activity or acknowledged that his own actions contributed to the events that unfolded that day. They still won’t walk back their scathing accusations against Darren Wilson, the police officer whom Brown might have killed had things gone even slightly differently during their two minute altercation. In their own words, they still believe that “It didn’t matter whether Brown had been guilty of theft or assault…Brown should not have been killed.”

Could Wilson have attempted to use a taser first? Maybe. But if I’d been in his shoes, if I’d been alone and outnumbered, if I’d been punched in the face by a guy twice my size, if I’d been attacked by a criminal so brazen or so high and so unpredictable he wasn’t the least bit hesitant to get violent with a police officer whom he knew was armed; in the split second I had to grab for something to defend myself, I can tell you in all honesty…

I’d have gone straight for the gun.

But it was that type of rhetoric, spouted off by those who would go on to support Black Lives Matter, the most inflammatory of which occurred in the immediate wake of Michael Brown’s killing before anyone knew anything about the circumstances surrounding the incident, that incited mass looting, violent protesting, and the retaliation killings of two innocent police officers.

It’s the same rhetoric and impassioned (and senseless) logic that’s spurring other hate-filled monsters to murder innocent men and women in cold blood. Another mass shooting targeting law enforcement is happening in Baton Rouge as I type.

We all know Michael Brown and Philando Castile and Alton Sterling. How many know the names of the police officers that were gunned down in Dallas?

Brent Thompson: Recently married.

Patrick Zamarripa: Father of two.

Michael Krol: Worked hard to become officer.

Lorne Ahrens: Dedicated professional.

Michael Smith: Family man.

But what of the state sponsored genocide against blacks? The epidemic of wanton police brutality threatening to decimate African Americans everywhere?

Well the numbers tell a very different story, if anyone actually looked at the numbers.

The Washington Post assembled a team to dredge up the most accurate count possible of people killed by police officers in America in 2015. In total, they determined 990 people killed were by police officers. 494 were white (49.9%), 258 were black (26.0%), 172 were Hispanic (17.4%), 38 were “other” (3.8%) and 28 were “unknown” (2.8%).

494 whites killed by police. 258 blacks were killed by police.

258 out of nearly 43 million.

Hardly evidence of racist vigilantism.

And of those 258, 220 were armed.

Which means 38 blacks were unarmed. But let’s look closer at the unarmed blacks.

Out of 38, 19 were categorized as “Attack in Progress,” meaning that while the suspect may not have had a weapon, it wasn’t for lack of trying; he or she was in the act of physically assaulting the officer when he or she was shot. The remaining 19 were either categorized as “Other” or “Undetermined.” In all but 5 of those cases, all of those shot were either fleeing arrest, were acting erratically, or were categorized as having a mental health issue. But at any rate, let’s assume all 38 unarmed blacks were killed under less than justifiable circumstances…

38 unarmed blacks killed by police (again, half of those were categorized as “Attack in Progress”) out of nearly 43 million African Americans in the United States is hardly an epidemic.

There have been 349 homicides in Chicago alone since January…and it’s JULY.

If that’s not a tragedy worth mobilizing over, I don’t know what is.

Don’t get me wrong, any innocent life lost is a travesty, and any police officer who uses lethal or excessive force when unwarranted should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, but these statistics certainly don’t constitute evidence of the rampant police brutality the media and Black Lives Matter scream about.

Of course, there are those who will argue that in 2015 whites were estimated at 61.1% of the population and blacks at only 13.3%, meaning blacks were 2.5 times more likely to be killed by police, and that unarmed blacks were far more likely than unarmed whites to be killed by police; it stands to reason that racism is the answer.

Actually, logic would tell you that this discrepancy is better explained by the fact that proportionately speaking 1. Blacks commit a highly disproportionate percentage of violent crimes and homicides 2. Blacks are statistically more likely to kill a police officer and 3. Blacks use firearms to commit homicide at a significantly higher rate than whites:

1.In 2014, blacks were arrested for 28.3% of the violent crimes in the US and 52.2% of the homicides (the crimes that are most likely to lead to an arrest, conviction and incarceration, as well as the most likely to be accurately prosecuted and free from bias).

In 2013, according to the CDC , homicide was the leading cause of death for black males aged 15-34, peaking at 49.9% of all deaths for black males aged 20-24. Homicide was also the 4th leading cause of death for black males of any age group (9th for Hispanics and not in the top 10 for whites).

 In 2008, blacks were six times more likely than whites to be the victim of a homicide, and the homicide offense rate was seven times higher for blacks than for whites. And who was killing all of these black people?

From 1980-2008, 93% of black homicide victims were killed by blacks.

2.From 2004-2013, 43% of all police officers feloniously killed were murdered by blacks (who, again, constitute 13% of the population). According to the FBI database, 51% were killed by whites, but this database doesn’t account for ethnicity, meaning it’s impossible to tell how much of this 51% were Latino; in all likelihood, the percentage of police officer feloniously killed by non-Latino whites was actually even lower.

3.As much as politicians discuss gun violence in the wake of a mass shooting by a white male, silent wars rage in black communities every day across the US. In 2015, 77% of white gun deaths were by suicide and only 19% by homicide. In stark contrast, 14% of black gun deaths were by suicide and 82% were by homicide.

But Black Lives Matter, the media, and most of America ignores these facts.

We ignore the fact that a cop is more likely to be shot and killed in the line of duty than a civilian of any race. In 2015, 42 police officers were shot and killed while in the line of duty—four more than the number of unarmed blacks killed by law enforcement.

We ignore the fact that while movements like Black Lives Matter may be trendy, they’re making black communities less safe as cops step back for fear of being the next Darren Wilson.

We ignore the fact that the real War on Blacks is taking place every day in places like Chicago and Baltimore, places where gang members tortured and killed 9 year old Tyshawn Lee by cutting his fingers and ears off, where three people have been killed and 37 injured, including a 16 year old black male, in a wave of shooting sprees across Chicago in the past two days.

Black Lives Matter will say these are the facts that don’t matter.

Well they do to this mixed girl.




51 thoughts on “The Fallacy Of Black Lives Matter And The Alleged War On Blacks: A Mixed Girl's Perspective

  1. The BLM movement does a tremendous disservice to the black community by shifting the blame to others, playing the victim card, and making excuses for improper behavior. The first rule of personal improvement & maturity is, “Take responsibility and accountability for your own decisions, don’t play victim, don’t point fingers, and don’t blame others. Blaming others takes time and energy away from improving yourself.”
    The true tragedy and heart of the matter is the black illegitimacy rate of approx 70%. In some locations like Detroit, nearly 90% of black children are raised in a single female headed family. Compare this to 1925 when 85% of black families were two-parent. The breakdown of the family unit is one of the essential root causes of many of the problems we’re seeing today. Children raised in such circumstances are disadvantaged and more likely to commit crime, be sent to detention and drop out of school, join gangs, take drugs, be lower achievers, etc. If BLM really wants to help, they should be discussing the value of a two-parent family, personal responsibility, maintaining a good reputation, spirituality, being respectful, professional mannerisms, education, proper grammar, remaining morally clean, strong work ethic, gratitude, patience, community service, reliability, courtesy, etc, etc. I will continue to teach my kids, “don’t blame others for your situation/problems. When you do that, you are saying that you are powerless over your own life.”


    • The New Jim Crow, by Michelle Alexander can help shed some light on how those stats have come to be. That is also important. It’s easy to condemn a movement based on numbers on paper and not based on your own personal experience and those of ppl that look like u. Attend a rally and listen. But don’t speak over us.


    • Moni Washington Padula we can talk all day long about how those stats “came to be”, but the important question is why are they still that way? Can you tell me how racism is still to blame for the disproportionately high teen pregnancy rate in the black community or the violent crime/homicide rate? Understanding *why* these things are the way they are (because it’s a *fact* that they are) is the only way they’ll ever be solved. Telling someone to not speak over you is counterproductive. Not listening to someone else’s point of view is juvenile and not how adults communicate. If I’m wrong or Rob is wrong, then please educate, teach me. But attempting to silence others that disagree with you is plain wrong, and it’s sadly the current state of affairs in the race discussion. If anyone (especially a white person) attempted to tell you or BLM to not speak over them, it would be racist. Let’s be adults, listen to each other, and be respectful.


  2. “Maybe it’s time to just scrap the word “racist.” Find something new. Like Racial Disorder Syndrome. And we could have different categories for sufferers of this syndrome: mild, medium, and acute.”
    ― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Americanah


  3. For a Black and White issues it really seems to be anything but black and white. I will attempt to voice an opinion while also being respectful of the post you took the time to write Kelly! Thank you for taking this step. Conversations must be had.

    Black lives matter has been a HUGE step in the wrong direction. To me it appears to be the participation award in the race game. You showed up, you are black, here is your ribbon. I’m sure that is overly simplistic of a movement that seems to be based strictly on emotions and cherry picked “facts”. A movement that appears to strive to divide while claiming a goal of equality. Most importantly to me… it demonizes the police. POLICE – White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, MIXED, ALL. BLM’s has made clear us and them lines. You are with us or you are against us. The movement is pushing for the rights of a few while seriously jeopardizing the rights of ALL. Yet if you question it YOU become the problem and target. These extremes are toxic.
    Since I have dared speak like you so eloquently stated I must present my pedigree, I feel like I should list how many people of color I hang out with and know. Link back to the fact that I have kissed a black man, my son dates a girl who is of mixed race, talk about the shades of their skin so it is clear I only see people, all another step in the wrong direction, but here goes. I am white, I am female, I am a police wife, and I am here to tell you right now, my white husband is a FAR better person than I. If it comes down to it… WHITE, Black, Hispanic, Asian, MIXED, ANY, if you put my husband’s life at risk by YOUR choices… I HOPE and PRAY his choice is to take your choices away! I hope that his mind does not flash for 1 second what the headlines may or may not read. I hope he chooses action, never considering what your reaction might be! He is willing to risk his life for yours, however; I am not! I am VERY selfish that way! CRAZY thing is I know BLACK police wives who feel the same. BLACK police wives who now fear their sisters (in race) husbands. BLACK police wives who stand proudly by their men in blue. BLACK police wives who are now forced to question their allegiance. Tell me again, how this is productive? How can anyone support this movement when it’s very appearance seems to seek, kill and destroy. It moves to silence my voice and opinion, while playing theirs in stereo. It seems to thrive in making me ask myself am I prejudice, do I have privilege, was I handed my life or did I work for it, while again saying give me give me give me. It is rhetoric, It has an agenda, It is destructive.
    I support conversations to build bridges, to build hope, to bring about unity! I am very selfish this I know and will never support a movement that targets my husband and gives participation awards. If for that I must apologize, here it is. Sorry


    • You don’t have to be sorry. You’re clearly hurting. Like we have been for actual centuries. Welcome to our world. Glad you got a taste of it this year. It sucks to be demonized, ostracized and separated from the status quo, doesn’t it? It sucks to be belitted, berated, segregated, and seen as evil, doesn’t it? It sucks to be a white police wife, doesn’t it? Welp, ma’am, I’ve been experiencing this since I was born because I have more melanin than you. And I’m happy you now see how it feels. Now that we have both gotten our feelings thoroughly hurt by society, we should start a new conversation about how all lives matter and we need to have better policies in America to protect its citizens from those that are terrorizing us as a nation. And it isn’t the Black Lives Matter Movement’s fault. It’s a societal issue. And all of society is going to need to work together to solve it. You directing your anger at several hundred thousand blacks is also counter productive to change and makes you sound an awful lot like the bigots you claim to be against. Think about it. And get off of Facebook for solutions. There are none here. Just a bunch of angry people throwing mud and pointing fingers like you and I right now.


    • You are so hurt that you are reaching. I never stated that. Now you simply sound like Fox News, big surprise. I am as saddened as you are at all deaths. But you only have a blue lives matter on your profile. Which shows you do not empathize with black Lives lost by police. Which means that you are your own resting of your own case dear. If you think blue lives matter more than all lives or that racist cops who shoot first indiscriminately on all races still should keep their badge, then you actually are a bigot and you don’t want to have the conversation. So go take a class on empathy and get back to me when you’re ready to be tolerant instead of playing the blame game.


    • No apology necessary miss. I’ll pray for you and you can pray for me. Be good to those around you and I will do the same. I’m sorry if I offended you, but that’s the way of the world these days on FB. Can’t please everyone, so there is no point in trying. God bless you and have a nice day.


    • Actually I agree 100% that prayer and Jesus are the only thing that can fix this along with loving all of those around us. You didn’t offend me in the sense of I’m offended. That is also the problem. These are only words. Actions and empathy as you pointed out are necessary. I’m backing out because I suck at writing to start with and FB or all text tone is hard to read. If I were by you I would hug you, I’m sure crying and continue the conversation. but here I choose to avoid misunderstanding, thus stoking the fire. I tell my family all the time… World War III will be touched off thru FB. God bless you, and yours, and may the feelings of all be healed with the salve of Jesus.


    • Presh Squared I took a quick look at your pics! You are a beautiful strong women. The only thing I see that may cause us real conflict is your apparent love of the Giants! Go CARDS! Thanks for the dialog and another view point in a very serious issue that goes WAY beyond me and my small world. Seriously have a blessed day and I hope we both can be the change!!


    • Thank you ma’am! That is very kind of you to say. I’m a new Giants fan, as I’m originally from Michigan and therefore a Tigers fan. I’ll let you slide with the Cardinals, as that is my father’s favorite team as well. We will be the change as long as we stay positive, optimistic and full of love. Have a wonderful day!


    • Cindy I really appreciated this perspective. I (and most of us) can’t imagine what life is like for police officers and their families…wondering every day whether your spouse will come home to you while they’re fighting to protect others. Yours is a voice and perspective that needs to be heard, again because there are police officers and police families of ALL races who are fearing the same things. Like you said, the BLM movement, whose rhetoric against police is exaggerated at best, IS turning people against law enforcement, is making life more dangerous for them and civilians, is creating deadly divisions. Thanks for your thoughts!


    • Presh Squared I’m confused…when I asked if you could share examples of racism you’ve personally experienced you couldn’t provide any…but now you say you’ve been experiencing it since you’ve been born…i also don’t understand why Cindy is a bigot for not supporting Black Lives Matter. You don’t have to support this movement to believe that black lives DO matter. I don’t support it because it’s inaccurate and inflammatory, but I’m very concerned with the societal issues affecting black lives. I actually have really appreciated the discussions via social media, I think it’s time we have an open discussion about race, where all people feel they’re able to contribute their feelings and perspectives respectfully


    • I’m not gonna get involved here, cause…whoa. But, I will say that I appreciate that you both had a somewhat heated discussion and then ended with a positive “agree to disagree” stance. I think that’s what is so amazing about America, we are all different and I think it’s a step in the right direction.


    • Kelly Robinson Crockett I have a lifetime of examples, I said I didn’t feel like sharing them at that time because I was handling coming out of the closet on fb to my family and friends which is still more important to me this week and time consuming than telling you a bunch of sob stories about my life. The information is out there in every single medium, you don’t need my personal stories. As I find people who feel like talking about it, I’ll continue to tag you. Like I said, I’m tired of arguing this issue down. Me and Cindy already had our discussion, I’m not gonna stir up new flames on a dead campground. Just go in peace and try to have a good week friend.


  4. I was walking down the street in Shanghai China, thousands of miles from home, when I saw a black man walking towards me. I had the oddest initial response. I began to think, “oh no, he sees that I am white and will think I am racist. Especially now after all that is going on.” I made an awkward attempt to smile at him so he knew I cared for him like any other human being.

    Along those same lines, my wife asked me last night as we were reading the news, “Doesn’t all this media just perpetuate the issue even further?” I will never understand what it is like to be black in America and I do not pretend to. All I know is this movement has gotten out of control.

    Do black lives matter? Absolutely. Is there bias in America for people of color? Not amongst my family or friends and that is all I can control. I will always teach my children that God made us different because he loves diversity, but we are all the same. I feel this sentiment represents the majority of white Americans.

    All that we see on media these days creates a mindset that we are divided. Any progress that has been made over the last 50 years, is suddenly being called into question. All I am being told is “if you are white, you are subconsciously racist or privileged.” All the movement has done and all the media is doing, is creating a divide between minorities and white people.

    One thing the BLM needs to recognize and come to terms with is that the numbers simply do not support their claims. Have there been instances where white cops unjustly shot and killed black civilians? Yes. Are there instances where a white cop is unjustly shot by black civilians. Yes.

    Instances of unjust killings of black civilians at the hands of white officers make up such a statistically insignificant number that it makes and logical human being realize that these cases are the result of a few bad eggs and not the system as a whole. Just like the recent killings of truly innocent police officers were at the hands of a few bad eggs.

    My point is, Kelly you are absolutely right. I feel like we need to defuse the situation by taking a little emotion out of a very emotional issue and add a little more statistical evidence to these claims.

    The truth is, the vast majority of white people have absolutely no issue with black people. The truth is, I am ashamed that my country spat on the rights of others because of the color of their skin. The truth is, we have made incredible progress towards eradicating racism from America. Let’s keep moving forward and stop trying to step backwards.


    • I LOVED this, thank you so much for your perspective! It’s so reasonable, and I agree with you. I think there is a miniscule percentage of the white population that has any negative feelings toward blacks due to the color of their skin. Thank you for being brave enough to share this!


    • I really have loved reading your perspective (Kelly) and your friends’ that have commented. I really respect the opinions of other people and I’m not trying to cause an argument. I agree with so much of what has been said in this thread. I just wanted to add this to the discussion:

      Like Chris said, the vast majority of white people have absolutely no issue with black people. But apparently our country does when statistics like this exist:

      “Black children make up 18 percent of America’s preschool population, but represent nearly half of all out-of-school suspensions. This treatment continues into the court system, where black children are 18 times more likely to be tried as adults than their white peers. It also extends to the job market, in which white college graduates are twice as likely to land a job as black college graduates. We haven’t even gotten to the justice system yet, in which black people are given 20 percent longer sentences than white people are for the same crimes.”

      If this is the way we run our country, then we ARE placing more value on white lives than black lives and that needs to change. How do we bring about that change? That is a seriously complicated question with so many answers it’s hard to know where to start.


    • Lauren Pace Sorry for the delayed response, we’ve been making our way back to the States and battling jet lag with the two littles! There are obviously many issues that are unique/more prevalent to the black community, but when you start researching *why* this is the case sociologists and scholars find there are many reasons, and I also think that’s the case. While I agree institutional racism throughout our nation’s history (slavery, Jim Crow, “separate but equal” etc.) created black ghettos and limited black advancement for a long time, and I agree that racism still can be found in America, I don’t think that’s what’s to blame for why so many of these problems continue, especially in an age where there’s a large educated middle/upper-middle class black population. I won’t take the time to post all the links here (but I can send them if you want) there are so many studies that explore other *whys* for many of the problems you listed. In 2013 there were twice as many black teens giving birth as white teens. From 2010-2014 64% of black families were single-parent families (compared to 29%) white. In 2014 blacks made up 13% of the population but were arrested for 52% of the homicides, and homicide is still the leading cause of death amongst black males age 15-34 (of all the black males that died in 2013 aged 20-24, 49.9% of them died by homicide…most at the hands of other black males). All of these factors impact education and poverty rates. Multiple studies have been done that show that black immigrants outperform African Americans in the same schools, and that these black immigrants tend to perform on par with white students even while in inner city schools. Many black scholars have studied black attitudes toward education and how the anti-establishment/anti-white attitude is negatively impacting even middle and upper middle class black students. It’s common knowledge within the black community (http://madamenoire.com/42302/acting-white-is-the-new-black/) that many blacks are criticized by other blacks for speaking properly or trying hard in school, that they’re shamed for “acting white”. This article (http://www.city-journal.org/html/criminal-justice-system-racist-13078.html) highlights several studies that discuss disparities in prison sentences (ie: prior records and the gravity of offenses). As far as the staggering proportion of blacks in prison, this article was really interesting if you want to take a look (http://www.colorofcrime.com/2016/03/the-color-of-crime-2016-revised-edition/)–it shows through statistics that for some crimes victim identification rates and arrest rates were lower than incarceration rates for some crimes (which indicates there isn’t a racial bias for some crimes like murder and rape), but the opposite was true for others, which doesn’t necessarily mean there is racial bias but also doesn’t rule it out. The point of all this being, it’s EASY to blame racism for everything wrong with black communities in America, but it’s so much more complicated that that; the problem is it’s un-PC to talk about it or even suggest it.


  5. Agreed Kelly. I appreciate your rational and coherent blog; something too commonly missing in modern dialogue and discussions . You should never feel like an “Uncle Tom” for simply sharing views based on statistics or for simply presenting evidence and facts.


    • Thans Rob! I think it’s time we all have a chance to discuss race reasonably, objectively and peacefully, no matter the color of our skin. It’s the only way we’re ever going to improve race relations in this country


    • Thans Rob! I think it’s time we all have a chance to discuss race reasonably, objectively and peacefully, no matter the color of our skin. It’s the only way we’re ever going to improve race relations in this country


  6. You need to read some more books and watch some more movies on slavery until you get it girl. Moni said it way politer than I’m willing to at this stage in the game, but we’ve already had our debate in the DM, so no need for it here. I will continue to respectfully agree to disagree with you on this issue and love you from a distance regardless. Cuz you’re still black at 50% at the end of the day sis and they WILL treat you and them kids the same way they treat us.


    • Thanks for your response, I appreciate the discussion! While this may be difficult to believe, I *do* have an advanced degree and *am* capable of critical thinking and reading 🙂 Trust me, I’ve read and researched plenty on this topic, but we’re clearly reading different authors. I’m fully aware of our nation’s history and treatment of blacks, slavery, Jim Crow, etc. I’m as sickened by it as the next black person, but I don’t think it’s the cause of the most significant problems in the black community (lagging education, broken families, homicide and violence). Who exactly is treating you in what way? I’m interested in hearing specifics about how you’ve been impacted by racism from whites, truly. Is there anything specific you disagree with me on? I think a big part of making race discussions more productive is stopping with the rhetoric and hollow talk. If you think I’m wrong, educate me, but I’d much prefer to have an academic discussion.


    • I’ll also continue to love you from a distance–while we may disagree I know you want what’s best for blacks. I only hope you love the white half of me as much as the black. I also hope, that as an educator, you would have as much love for my “white-looking” kids as you do for those who are black


    • Tbh I recently had a moment of clarity wherein I had to explain to an angry white citizen on a random post that I am actually clueless at this age to who ‘they’ are. I’m not sure anymore who I’m actually mad at. I make six figures and my life is bougie. I work in Silicon Valley with all white people. All my friends are white or Asian. My ex husband is an Asian doctor. We both are well off. I am actually an upper middle class American. I don’t really know anymore than the next black person. I’m just mad right now. And I don’t want people telling me to not be mad. That is the point that I kept trying to tell you. You either mad or you not mad. It’s that simple. There aren’t any facts behind it. Rhyme or reason. It’s a feeling. A gut feeling that white people did something to you and you want them to stop and they won’t stop and no one cares and you’re helpless. And afraid. Very, very afraid for yourself, your daddy, your brother, and everyone else that you love. Then the fear turned into anger somewhere along the way and we decided to stay hypervigilant in this season on the anger. So, to clarify, I don’t have anything for you except for a genuine emotion and that’s what we all have. The facts are out there. I am too tired to argue them, because I am also too upset. And I can’t come off logical anymore. This is my general disposition right now. This is the way being Black in America feels. It’s actually a strange form of reverse discrimination mixed with a pity party mixed with some actual truth. It’s all fucked up girl.


    • So to summarize, the current rhetoric in America is one that is caused by thinking with your emotional mind versus your rational mind. Whereas I cannot actively disagree with any of your statements in your blog, I feel offended by them solely because you chose to vocalize them instead of standing in solidarity with all the other angry blacks in the mob. Which is well within your right. I assure you we all want the same thing, peace, we just aren’t sure how to get it and quite frankly, I am not even sure that electing the right officials into office will do it. These are dangerous times that we live in. And they are very scary. All I know how to do is go to church and ask the Lord to save my heart so I can go to Heaven and hope for the best while I’m still down here. And I can continue to pray for America.


    • Surprisingly Kelly, I work for a mostly Asian and Latino district in Silicon Valley and only interact with non Black children. I teach them to see the world as a global citizen and to be a part of the next generation of curators in our neighborhood that solve complex problems through innovative technology. We focus on giving back and solving 3rd world country issues. It’s a beautiful world up here in the Bay and ever forward thinking. I focus most of my energy on developing the next Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerbergs as their parents lead all the world’s top technology companies as is.


    • Presh Squared Thanks for your honest reply. I agree that the rhetoric is emotional, but race is an incredibly emotional topic for most Americans, especially black Americans. And there’s a place for emotion, I don’t blame or begrudge you for your feelings. But if we want *solutions*, it’s going to take more than emotion. What problems are ever solved in ANY relationship when we allow emotion to cloud our reason, or when we speak in anger without listening? And that’s what race relations are, relationships between people. If you agree with even one part of what I said, I hope you’ll think about it. It’s time for blacks to be brave, to have the courage to find fresh solutions even if it means challenging the status quo of the black community. As educated, financially stable black women, we can and should be the voice for change. You made it. I made it. How did we do it? Why, honestly and truly, are there other blacks who aren’t doing it? Is it racism, or something else? As an educator (especially of young blacks) you have so much power to shape their future narrative into something positive and hopeful and empowering.


    • Kelly Robinson Crockett, just thought you should know that my only solution for all this foolishness is to run for Senate in 2020. I’m just gonna do my best to fix it all myself. Looking forward to your vote when you and the husband move back to Cali one day!


  7. I love your writing, I love your boldness.

    I am very saddened by the tone and condemning nature of this piece. As a fellow mixed girl, I have struggled a lot with racial identity, having two biracial parents and an interracial family. Many things I was very ignorant of regarding race and racism, identity and history.

    After listening to my community I was aghast to realize my privilege of not being treated in the same ways as darker-skinned black or mixed people due to colorism afforded me the ability of not having to have the same worries. BLM rhetoric wasn’t preached in my household, and in college I didn’t understand the importance or hype of the Divine 9 sororities and fraternities.

    It’s really important I believe in light of our remembrance of both our personal experiences and our personal struggles to not to condemn a movement that supercedes popularity and “trending”, and simply expresses with more boldness the anger and frustration of a century post-slavery that has indeed continued to be oppressive to black folks. Many of whom will not have our light-skinned experiences. It is hurtful and damaging to be vindictive to a very credible and necessary movement. We won’t agree here (and I take WaPo poll’s about as seriously as I take sponge Bob after that whey said 9/10 native americans approve the name “redskin”. Their poll was meant debunk and silence the thousands that weren’t polled whose voices are becoming too loud in our anti-racist rhetoric). Systemic racism means that marginalization comes from our editors, our TV show writers, and those who don’t make up our voices. The WaPo writing staff is not culturally diverse. I recently underwent anti-racism training and truly learned our history in America. At almost 30 years old. I finally was awakened to the paradox that is equality in our life. After reading ” The New Jim Crow” by Michele Alexander, I realized what my heart had been tugging at…something I didn’t want to accept was true, and Alexander’s research was quite credible and made loads of sense. It doesn’t span recent BLM material, but our past century and more into the history of slavery and where racism actually came from.

    When we turn our back on our community’s progess just as its becoming “too loud” we too become oppressive. And we aid in it by telling our white counterparts the rest of our community is ignorant, savage, self-murdering (which all races are and can be) and further dismiss our own people. I am not judging or condemning you, but the message this sends is hurtful. And this mixed girl thinks that also matters.

    Stronger together.


    • Moni Padula, how was Kelly’s Argument condemning? Second I am also mixed and unlike you I have seen racism and I’ve never been oblivious to its existence; however, I agree with Kelly that the Black Lives Matter movement lacks credence to its claims and that is supported by solid statistics and clear facts as indicated in her article. As a member myself of the “black community” I believe there’s a lack of ownership for the atrocities we have committed against our own and values (or lack thereof) we portray as a community. Until we acknowledge our own shortcomings how can we hold anyone else accountable for biases we perpetuate? I personally observed nothing hurtful about her post other than the fact that she didn’t stand for a cause simply because she’s black and instead sought out information to form an educated opinion.


    • A few things to correct…you insinuated a couple times I have never experienced racism without asking my experience or assuming it was invisible bc I acknowledged not being aware of the forms in which I was experiencing it and which my fellow brothers and sisters of colors were at a much deeper level. I also don’t believe those in the black ethnic community need to hold themselves accountable to an oppressive system. It needs to be led from within the community. That is not for white view and white judgement. Remember who educates us, who educated us, and that that info in and of itself is biased, and not in the light of respect and integrity towards anything Black or African-derived. Not standing for a cause is a personal preference, and a personal right. However, I will not discuss or demean my community for a historic shift and intergenerational trauma they were not responsible for inducing, but are left responsible to clean up after. White statistics about Black matters mean nothing to me. White statistics called my Black ancestors just 3-4 generations ago less than a 100% human and told my Native/Indigenous ancestors they would not cover their treaty agreements if they were less than certain “blood quantum” required by the government as being native/indigenous. We are a generation removed from the inane cruelty the past generations suffered and are attempting to recover from in silence. There’s not a lack of ownership in me, a lack of awareness in me, or a lack of responsibility in me to protect myself first, educate myself and my family and those who associate with us do we can exist in a safe place, and then advocate for my communities. These shortcomings do not justify unnecessary deaths. Especially towards our own people. They never did, before we had the current issues we now have. I encourage you to read The New Jim Crow, a Black-educated and written source, with an interest in Black welfare, preservation, and that can help shed some compassionate light on these shortcomings, which are really stereotyped and sometimes true behaviors of lower income and less educated minority-status folks. Some poor white folks included. Our shortcomings have been acknowledged and to further condemn them publicly for White fuel and satisfaction is in my opinion demeaning and gut-wrenching.

      I recently spoke with a fellow anti-racist black elder in the society about some of my frustrations. She told me she has compassion and helped give me examples to better understand the struggles I don’t see that our people go through. I don’t have all the answers. WaPo sure as hell doesn’t. And we dont. But we also do have quite a few and we need to listen to our own and not others teaching us about our own.

      Bc on an even deeper level, anyone in your “racial” makeup will reject you if you don’t perform enough to their liking and approval. I have experienced it and it is some pure BS. But it’s how our world works. Ignoring how our world and society has been conditioned to function and attempting to survive in it without support is suicide. To understand better, we must face our own prejudices and conditioned biases and pursue truth through experience and trusting the experiences of others.

      I abhor the taking of any life. I abhor war. But it’s necessary for some freedoms to be preserved and sustained. The way again of our world. Which side we participate in is up to us, to an extent, but we are already engaged in one side or another. The purpose of the creation of race and racism was to implant division. And it did its job well. To correct this we must understand how it happened, and stop and uproot the current trends. It is indeed rooted in systems and institutions. It is in our churches, our hair salons, our schools, our cities and local governments, and our neighborhoods.

      One thing needed to be acknowledged is that any cultural group rejecting those who are multicultural by composition is wrong. Anger and bitterness drives others away. Yet it has been conditioned this way historically and this has been bred generationally. Now here we are as millenials to pick up the pieces.

      I personally stand with #blacklivesmatter, and because it causes defensiveness in non-blacks, I add that heat #blacklivesmattertoo. I do not stand against #bluelivesmatter. But I do not place it above my own ethnicity, as I have personally not be1en able to have trust in blue lives by my interactions with white male officers. Trust is earned, not granted. These are my thoughts, intended to be spoken with respect and not to incur dissent but hopefully to help introduce more cultural understanding and not continue the divide. White ppl don’t have to apologize abt being white, but it further damages connections, is oppressive, and shows a lack of cultural competency to dismiss a majority voice in another ethnic group simply bc it doesn’t and will never have to apply to white people.

      Talking about this is the only way to peel our layers back. It is the only way to induce change. We can never force anyone’s view to change, but we can be confident that we have the integrity ourselves to share our experience and understanding in a way that is respectful, understanding that being different we will not all agree nor fight the same fight.

      Humanitarian care is the only way to heal. And we can’t do that if we don’t listen, observe, and put ourselves in the worn shoes of others (not new shoes, worn shoes).


    • Moni, thanks for your reply. I always appreciate candid responses and discussion 🙂 A few thoughts on your original post:

      1. What in particular did you find condemning or hurtful about the tone? If it’s the fact that I don’t support Black Lives Matter because I find it inflammatory, divisive and not grounded in fact or sound reason, that’s troubling to me. Because it’s a scary day when people feel pressured to support a movement simply because it’s a *black movement,* without critically assessing what it is they’re advocating. How dangerous it is to blindly support a movement—even if your intentions are good—that has your loyalty simply because of the color of your skin, regardless of what they collectively say, think or do.
      I disagree that Black Lives Matter is credible, and that’s a primary reason I don’t support it. I’ve given several examples as to why their rhetoric is unfactual, I would love to discuss specifics if you disagree with my assessment.
      2. Washington Post is actually a very liberal-leaning news source, and I’ve never heard or seen information on the cultural diversity of their staff…is this just your assumption? Either way, I’m not sure how even having a staff that was fully black would change the numbers…The Post actually created the database because the FBI database was incomplete and only accounted for half as many police shootings as the Post staff uncovered. Not to mention, Post columnists are using the results of the police fatality project to support the notion that police racism against blacks is real; I just think they’re wrong and their attempt to portray the numbers that way is unconvincing. If you can provide data from a black source you trust that proves the Black Lives Matter “racist police brutality” narrative is accurrate I’d be interested in seeing it. But to instantly dismiss any statistics that challenge your view and label them as “racist” is unsound and hardly an argument.
      3. My issue with BLM isn’t that they’re “too loud,” it’s that they’re wrong, in a distracting and dangerous way. They were wrong on Michael Brown. They’re wrong about the war on blacks by police. And people are being murdered because of the rhetoric. To insinuate that because I don’t support Black Lives Matter means that I don’t care about the social welfare of blacks is ludicrous. But I, and a growing number of black scholars, believe they (and a good number of blacks) are wrong to blame all of the ills in black communities on whites. Because black girls are far more likely to be teenage single mothers (how is this a white problem?), numerous studies have shown that American born blacks perform significantly worse in the same schools as their black immigrant counterparts (which hints at educational stumbling blocks not based on skin color, but culturally or socially within the American black community specifically), and the number 1 cause of deaths amongst young black men is homicide (while BLM and blacks like to ignore this fact, black on black crime is happening at an appalling rate, way more than for any other race or ethnic group, and it *should* be one of the primary concerns for blacks; to be honest it’s probably the root of most black problems, including lagging education and cyclical poverty). But these problems are NOT caused by whites, and they’re not going to be fixed by whites either. Communities need to support and help lift and offer the means, but individuals need to want to make personal changes. We are stronger together, but if you’re really serious about helping the black community we need to find new solutions, not the same tired old rhetoric.


    • They may not be caused directly today, but the legacy created did what it was intended to do. I’m not interested in a conversation that calls my arguments and experiences unsound, insinuates I’m claiming loyalty bc of a skin color, or asks me to provide proof of what is palpable, existent, and continues to be oppressive (using the value of Education over the value of history and experiencr). No. It’s not an assumption WaPo is not a diversely staffed editorial org. I’ve seen the staff. I also belong to civil rights orgs online and in the community where there is intergenerational accountability for problems we all agree are valid and shapeshifted. Having another “black scholar” agree is not my goal. It is my goal to not be silent when I see or experience damaging views. I still suggest the book. It has plenty of helpful resources for those who wish to see and have more proof. I need no further proof.

      I purpose to continue living life in immersion, and learning. You asked what about your tone was hurtful and demeaning…that you stated your concerns and seemed upset/annoyed/embarrassed by and with BLM by the extent to which you composed your (at times seemingly cynical) research, therefore bypassing generational teachings, generational literature, now deceased historic and prominent black women and their work…this seemed to go beyond a norm of general concern. The intent came across to me as avidly attempting to dislodge, disprove, and discredit the results of a multi-generational effort of cultural survival amidst a search for widely ungranted humanitarian equality, the much deeper problem. This attempt seems due to a reason I don’t understand but yours is a journey I haven’t lived…also, black vernacular was birthed in an attempt to learn proper British English. We were denied the keeping of our languages with the cultural and physical genocide that was a result of the enslavement of our ancestors 4-5 generations ago. We r all surviving and thriving through an acceptance of colonialism. U poked some light at that in ur piece and it is offensive, as I’m sure you may have felt offended by others judging u and rejecting u by pointing out your command of the English language. It’s normal to reject upon rejection.

      Mixed people have their own battles. I fully understand and live this, and believe we also need supportive and safe environments to heal and vent and not feel forced to be so choosey. But psychology and the understanding of the all-encompassing phenomenon of intergenerational trauma as it pertains to racism and the fight thereof to instill in ourselves the laborious task of yanking it from the roots of our society, using credible historically context from our past century of living here in America provides a grievance for many of us when others miss the mark, as I believe has been done here.

      You have great writing and a great platform. Knowing you will meet very strong adversity from one of your ethnic communities when posting this was obviously known and thought through. I wonder if it was worth it to discuss challenges in a light that throws the pearls of many peaceful protesters, black and brown casketed lives from gun and jail deaths at the hands of blue men, and the realities of their families to the pigs. Their realities are ones we can choose not to live bc of our mixed privilege. Therefore speaking with such authority over their voices is not our place. So I digress here, respectfully, and add that I hope u read Alexander’s book along your journey, especially where Nixon and Clinton were so instrumental in creating damaging biases towards black and brown lives by manipulating their existing circumstances to be able to easily imprison them, as has shapeshifted to what we experience today. I’d be interested in your thoughts of her work.


    • I’m open to reading works from different authors, I’ll look into it and thanks for the recommendation. I know you said you’re not interested in being open-minded on the subject, but anything by John McWhorter (I especially like “Losing the Race” and “Winning the Race”) may give you some new things to think about. To be honest, I think that’s what our country needs, it needs our generation to start coming up with new ideas and finding fresh solutions, because the anti-establishment anti-white attitude that’s been around since the 1960s hasn’t worked and isn’t working. I think you’re right that there’s an untold value in generational teachings, especially how our nation’s historical treatment of black plays into the current black psyche and culture. They’re important and shouldn’t be forgotten. That being said, those generational teachings and literature aren’t going to *solve* the problems in black communities, the ones I mentioned in my previous comment, and it’s important we continue to think and progress and build on their foundation; times are changing and our approach to race needs to change as well. The fact is great progress has been made for blacks in this country, the path is no longer *institutionally* blocked for blacks to gain access to education and the tools that lead to empowerment. While I believe racism still exists (there will always be racist individuals, there will always be some employers who subconciously or consciously choose to hire white over black etc.), it’s not systemic racism that’s keeping blacks in poverty (evidenced by the fact that there’s a bourgeoning black middle/upper-middle class) or that’s causing the homicide epidemic in black neighborhoods. Be proud of your heritage and support the black community. But I hope you’ll be objective. I hope you’ll seriously assess what it is you’re supporting and if their message is truthful and factual and in harmony with the peace and compassion you say are important to you. Thanks for all your thoughts!


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