Opinion / Reflection / Technology

Seriously…I'm Still Alive…Just Disconnecting

I knew it had been a long time since I’d posted, but I didn’t realize it had been THAT long! I’m not done blogging, but everyone once in awhile I need to disconnect….from social media, cyber space, the blogosphere. Not that any of those things are bad, but I know it’s easy for me to put too much of my short supply of time (and attention) in them, and I find I value my life–my present reality and the lovely people in it–more when I’m disconnected, so that’s what I’ve done.

While I’m on the subject of disconnecting, I feel I have to admit, my life has been better without Facebook (I disconnected my account about a month ago). I know a lot of people probably think that’s blasphemous, and I’m sure it makes you wonder just how much time I was spending on it prior to disconnecting my account (yes…I was a silent Facebook stalker–I didn’t post much but I scanned my Newsfeed A LOT). Since I’ve gotten rid of Facebook, I’ve found:

  1. I don’t waste as much time: That’s an obvious one. I started realizing I was that person who spent any idle moment looking at it. And the sad thing was, it had become a habit. Any time I was bored or had a spare tenth of a second my hands would automatically and unconsciously tap my Facebook app. One second naturally turned into 20 minutes of my life that I could never get back–such a waste.

  2. I’m present in the moment: I realized a couple of weeks ago after taking a small family trip that as I was taking pictures, my first reaction wasn’t to immediately post them on Facebook. I was able to take a photo and then move on with the enjoyable experience of just being with my family, and share those precious moments with just my family–I love my (former) Facebook Friends, but they really don’t need a play-by-play of my every move.

  3. I’m less narcissistic: No one wants to admit they’re a narcissist, but Facebook absolutely brought out my self-centered need for public reassurance. On that same family trip, I realized I wasn’t taking pictures for the sole purpose of being able to later post a really spectacular or cute photo on Facebook so that 1. People could see that I was in fact taking a spectacular trip 2. People could admire just how cute my really cute son is, especially when he’s doing something…really cute 3. People could be impressed with my awesome photography skills (#yesfilter) 4. People could “Like” my photo which in turn made me feel loved and recognized (less than 10 “Likes” =  Nobody cared about me… 20″Likes” =  Glad I posted that photo, people were obviously impressed… 30+ “Likes” = Glad I posted that photo and the witty comment that went with it–I.AM.AMAZING!).

  4. I’m less angry: It’s not that I’m confrontational, but I started getting really involved in people’s random and highly opinionated political/religious/etc. posts. I love politics. I love religion. I love discussing and debating. But I felt I was being constantly bombarded by posts that were offensive to me. Some I’d engage, others I’d just ignore, but I soon started realizing Facebook was making me legitimately angry…and mean. Facebook kind of became my soap box, which is definitely a personal problem, but I’m happier and less agitated now that it’s gone, so win for me!

There are some things I miss about Facebook. Every so often, I’ll wonder if so-and-so had her baby or if what’s-his-face got the job he was hoping for, but by and large I’m happy not knowing every detail of everyone’s lives, and sharing every detail of my own. The fact is, if I’m not close enough with the person to feel comfortable enough calling or emailing to find out if so-and-so did in fact have her baby or if what’s-his-face did happen to get that job, do I really need to know anyway??

Maybe I’m a huge hypocrite for ragging on Facebook while at the same time maintaining and at this exact moment updating a blog, but at least it’s something I can update and access on my own terms. And if you don’t enjoy reading it, you can take a tip from me and immediately disconnect from it…I won’t be mad 🙂




4 thoughts on “Seriously…I'm Still Alive…Just Disconnecting

  1. I loved this post. I can completely relate. I find myself doing the same thing with Facebook…stalking and secretly measuring my worth and ability through the number of post “likes” as well as allowing myself to become frustrated at the brazen political & religious opinions of others. I think I need to take a break as well, I sometimes feel like a slave to my phone and often think how much more productive I could be if I spent more time present for my actual life instead of living it through everyone else on Facebook. Great post and very relatable. Glad I’m not the only one!


    • I know right?! I’m actually back on facebook, but I’ve found after being away from it for a couple of months that I don’t have a strong desire to troll it anymore. It’s a REALLY nice way to keep in touch with people, which I love, but I’m definitely over the newsfeed!


  2. I miss YOU on facebook! I especially miss seeing pictures. Fortunately your Mom still puts some up occasionally. ? On the bright side I love your blogs, keep up the good work.


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