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5 Things This Mormon Wish You Knew

I’m a Mormon.

It’s not something I talk about much, which is strange because my faith is actually a huge part of my life. I think the main reason is because I don’t like to feel judged, and I don’t want anyone else to assume I’m judging them. Religion is a very sacred and personal thing to most people, enough so that the mere mention of the word “religion” is bound to offend someone, or at least initiate a case of the cold sweats (I’m kind of a sweaty person anyway, but uncomfortable religious talk DEFINITELY gives me armpit tacos). I’m also pretty private (yes, blogging propels me far outside my comfort zone), and I’m typically not prone to talking about my personal life unless people ask.

But I’ve started to realize that a lot of my friends and family are actually pretty curious about Mormons, but are too afraid to ask.

What do Mormons believe? Do we worship Jesus Christ or Joseph Smith? Why do we wear funny underwear?!

I know quite a few people harbor some pretty deep-seated misconceptions about Mormons. Some can’t stand us (I hadn’t seen this type of animosity until I moved to Mormon Mecca (a.k.a. Utah), which totally surprised me). Many are confused by us. Probably an even larger number are unaware we exist (I was one of these. I grew up thinking Mormons were the predecessors of the Amish…Not totally sure where that came from). The thing is, I really love being Mormon–honestly, I do. But as a convert to this faith–I converted when I was 20–I’m fully aware of how our church and its members are perceived from the outside looking in.

I sat thinking today, and I realized that I desperately wished people knew more about my faith. And believe me, not in the hopes that they would denounce their faiths and dive into the Mormony waters of baptism; my motives are more selfish than that. I just want people to stop looking at me like I have three heads when they find out I’m Mormon. I also want them to know I’m a normal person, with faults and feelings and hopes and disappointments that make me just like everyone else. I could have made a really long, doctriney-based list, but I narrowed down five, super non-specific things I wish more people knew about Mormons:

1. Mormons are Christian (and while we’re on the subject: The Mormon Church Isn’t a Cult)

The actual name of the “Mormon” church, in case you didn’t know, is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (I use Mormon and LDS Church interchangeably, since most people are more familiar with “Mormon”). “Mormon” is actually a nickname that came from the Book of Mormon, a book of scripture which is another testament of Jesus Christ. We believe in God (our literal Father in heaven), in his Son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. We believe Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of the world, that He was crucified and was resurrected. We worship Him, learn of Him through the Old and New Testament, as well as the Book of Mormon, and strive to become more like Him.

On that same note, I’m not entirely sure why people think the Mormon church is a cult–more so than any other religion, anyway. Sure some of our doctrine may seem foreign to some, but ALL religions are built upon stories and assertions that defy science and logic. Christians actually believe a mortal was the literal Son of God, and that he was capable of healing the sick and raising the dead. Jews actually believe Moses parted the Red Sea. Hindus actually believe people die and continue to be reincarnated over and over again. Muslims actually believe Muhammad spoke to the Angel Gabriel. (I had a comment here about Atheism that several atheists informed me was inaccurate–so…it’s out. I don’t want to misrepresent others’ beliefs, especially considering the spirit of this post (yikes Kelly, way to be a raging hypocrite!)). It’s also worth noting that there are nearly 15 million Mormons worldwide, which is actually about the same as the worldwide Jewish population. We may not be “mainstream”, but we’re not small and we’re not extreme. As a whole, we have really traditional views on most social issues, which are pretty in-line with most Christian denominations. Not to mention, we wholeheartedly believe in free choice as well as freedom of religion for everybody, including Mormons who decide the whole Mormon thing just isn’t for them. I haven’t been asked to drink any Kool-Aid yet, but I’ll keep you updated.

2. Mormons Aren’t Judging You

Obviously, this is collectively speaking. I’m sure there are Mormons that judge you, just like there are inevitably atheists, Catholics, Muslims, and Jews that judge you. I think most of this perceived judgment comes from the fact that we’re encouraged to live a pretty straight lifestyle–we commit to abstaining from alcohol, coffee or tea, smoking and using drugs. We believe in chastity before marriage. We’re commanded to avoid pornography, and we’re encouraged to dress modestly, to not swear, etc. etc. etc. Not surprisingly, people assume that because I say “no” when I’m offered a beer that I’m secretly condemning them because they drink beer. I get it.  I’m guilty of that line of thinking. My brother recently became a vegetarian, and I just knew at every meal he was thinking I was Satan for enjoying tasty animal flesh while he gnoshed on beans and lettuce. But the truth is, 1. I don’t think most of the things I abstain from are truly bad, I’ve just made a commitment to not to do those things 2. I don’t have the time or energy to judge you and 3. That’s not what Christ would do; I love President Uchtdorf’s (a member of the presidency of our church) thoughts on judging others:

“When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. ”

What it comes down to is that I respect your choices, and I hope you can respect mine. So let’s just be friends.

3. Can Answer Most of Your Questions (So can…Mormons)

When I find people spouting off negative, inaccurate information about the LDS Church, I’m never surprised to find that it typically originates from websites whose sole intention is to promulgate negative, inaccurate information about the LDS Church. If you wanted to learn about black history, you wouldn’t check the KKK website first, would you?? Likewise, if you have a question about Mormons or the Mormon church, wouldn’t it make sense to go straight to the source? and are sponsored by the LDS Church and have a ton of information for both Mormons and non-Mormons. (2nd Edit: This is not to say that people should ONLY view websites sponsored by the Mormon church–there are MANY great non-church sponsored websites that have a lot of good information about Mormons, and allow for candid discussions about the Mormon faith. I would caution, that people need to be aware (especially those who are completely unfamiliar with Mormon beliefs) that there are many sites that are FULL of misinformation about the Mormon church, and as far as learning the fundamentals of our beliefs, I still think and are the place to go). I think you’ll also find that most Mormons are happy to have you just ask them directly if you’re curious about something. I don’t get offended when people have genuine questions about my religion; I appreciate the fact that they consider me a reputable source, and I’m honored that they feel comfortable enough to ask.

4. We’re Not (Always) Trying to Convert You

I had one friend tell me she thought most Mormons were really nice, but she couldn’t stand feeling like they were always trying to get her to convert. The fact is, our church is HUGE on proselyting; so much so that boys over 18 are expected to serve a two year church mission (I’m sure you’ve seen them in suits with backpacks, bikes, and name tags). Aside from our missionaries (whose actual purpose is in fact to introduce people to our church and the gospel of Jesus Christ), most Mormons are just normal people who are really excited about their faith. Why? Because most find it to be extremely meaningful and fulfilling, and it makes them happy. Yes, listening to them might be overwhelming, but if it is, politely change the subject or tell your friend or neighbor you’re not comfortable having that conversation. There’s no competition or reward for conversions or baptisms. If someone has a hidden agenda to befriend you in order to get you to convert, that’s wrong. And it’s crazy. But if in the normal course of your relationship religion comes up, and your Mormon friend shares things about their faith, it’s not because they’re trying to suck you in or brainwash you. I would hope most Mormons are just as interested in learning about your faith and the things that are important to you as they are about sharing their own.

5. Not All Mormons are Like that One Weird Mormon Person you Know

I’m never sure how I should feel when I’ve known someone for a little while and they say to me, “Wow, I never would have guessed you were Mormon!”, especially when they say it as a compliment. On the one hand, I’m grateful to NOT fit whatever horrible stereotype they’ve bought into and project on every Mormon person they meet. But on the other hand, I REALLY REALLY like being Mormon, and I’m not ashamed of it. The fact is, stereotyping someone because of their religion is the same as stereotyping someone for being black, or Asian, or Muslim, or female. All I ask is that you see me as a human first, that you give me the benefit of the doubt and get to know me first before you decide whether or not we can be friends.

Thanks for making it this far down the list. I hope you now know that if you have questions about Mormons, here’s one you can ask 🙂


686 thoughts on “5 Things This Mormon Wish You Knew

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  2. For some reason Katie your comment is showing up in my comments box but not here in the comments section. I wanted to answer your comment for you, so I’ll repost your comment here and my reply. cheers!

    Thank you for this informative post. You mentioned you felt more at home once you moved to Utah. I’m looking to move to Orem, UT for school with my boyfriend. I’m non-mormon. I’m hoping most mormons around think like you. I feel the same way. I respect the beliefs and ways of life of other people and would like the same in return and wouldnt let something personal get in the way of a friendship.I wanted to know, now that you live there, how do you see non-mormons being treated? I probably can’t blend in. I stick out. I have a few tattoos and dyed hair. I’m introverted and mostly will be at home, school, events and exploring the outdoors. Don’t hold back when you answer. I can take it 🙂

    Hi Katie! Thanks for taking the time to read and for commenting! Surprisingly I actually wouldn’t say I felt particularly at home in Utah, lol. I grew up in the midwest and spent 10 years out west, but UT was kind of a strange beast! We actually moved from there a couple of years ago and now live in China, go figure! But our two years in Ogden were great in many ways and a bit strange in many ways. The state itself is gorgeous and there’s so much to do if you’re into the outdoors, we loved it for that. Culturally it’s a bit odd. I think the fact that the LDS religion is such a big part of the social and political culture in UT can be very polarizing for people, and can lead people to have very antagonistic/hostile feelings toward “the other camp;” people in UT tend to identify as either being “mormon” or “not-Mormon,” and seem to want to categorize others that way. To be honest, I think much of this stems from misunderstanding/lack of understanding about one another, and rather than take the time to get to know a person individually it’s easier to label them as a “mormon” or “non-mormon” and move on. as a person who can relate to both sides (I’m the only Mormon in my family, I used to drink alcohol, I have a tattoo, etc., but I’m now a Mormon…), it was sad and unfortunate to me. I personally didn’t know any Mormons who wouldn’t hang out with non-Mormons, or who wouldn’t allow their kids to play with non-Mormons, but people say it happens. I think a lot of unintentional judgment does happen, however, on the part of Mormons. I think there can be small-mindedness and shelteredness (is that a word lol?), especially in the smaller towns (SLC is actually pretty diverse culturally, although not ethnically). But I also saw a lot of animosity from non-Mormons toward Mormons. Our realtor when we moved there didn’t know we were LDS and was making a ton of inappropriate Mormon jokes, and it was a bit awkward when we finally told him we were Mormon lol; it’s common for people on both sides to ask you if you’re Mormon or not right when they meet you, possibly so they can determine which side you belong to?? I don’t know. But I can also say we successfully were able to make friends with a wide variety of people of different backgrounds and faiths, and I made some of the best friends in utah that I’ve ever had; I miss them every day. Be kind and open to others and they’ll be kind and open to you is what I’ve found. I wouldn’t worry about trying to blend in or be someone you’re not; just be you and you’ll find good people who appreciate you just the way you are. I think some people will try to tell me I’m wrong, but I promise you there are good people in UT, Mormon and non-Mormon, who are above judging people at face-value. I think you’ll really enjoy you’re time there too, aside from the few quirks we really liked it!


    • “Someone” posted this in response:

      Bring it — we need more tattoos here in Utah! The culture is slowly changing, thank God. I moved here from Oregon back in ’03. The first adjustment you’ll have to make is to the driving. We drive worse than Californians here. Everyone ignores red lights and stop signs. Just the other day, another girl got hit while crossing the street in front of my son’s high school. State Troopers routinely get run over on the side of our freeways here. Having been here enough years to essentially have “become a Utahn,” I imagine I’ll lose my driver’s license within weeks if I ever move back to Oregon. If you are coming from someplace like New York City, you might find the people here polite. If you are coming from most other parts of the country, you might find them to be the rudest, most inconsiderate people you’ve ever encountered. Lots of myths about how non-mormons are treated here. It really comes down to where you end up. We have mormon neighbors we get along great with, and others we have to keep an eye on. Just because one is a mormon does not mean they are a person of high character. Many I have encountered, in fact, demonstrate the very lowest of decency and honor. The mormon woman next door once helped cover up a hit and run in our driveway committed by a young mormon who was visiting her. He had crashed his subaru into our lincoln town car, which was parked in our driveway. Hit it hard enough to total our big, heavy Town Car, then panicked and fled to the neighbor’s house, where they concocted the most ridiculous story of how his car must have rolled out of her driveway on its own, made a perfect right angle turn (with the steering column locked), rolled to my driveway and executed another perfect right angle turn (again, with the steering column locked so the wheels could not turn) then somehow accelerated to a high enough speed to hit our Town Car with enough force to skid it back five feet on a dry concrete surface. The kid’s dad’s response? “God works in mysterious ways.” Moral of the story is don’t expect the highly religious culture to be an honorable one. I’ve been here enough years to know they are as corrupt as anyone else and will cover for one another when caught in a lie or criminal act.


  3. When I was 24 and a young mother , I lived in a apartment complex, my new neighbor was moving in and I was so excited her 2 daughters were the same age as my children 3 & 1, I knew this because my husband was the property manager. When I met her it was not long before she told me she was a Mormon.. I thought wow, does her husband have like a million wives? Is she weird or crazy? Honestly a million questions popped in my head because the word ” mormon” to me just meant weird crazy people with tons of wives and millions of kids. NOT the case at all. We built a very strong friendship. I am Catholic and she was Mormon. She had Elders who were serving a Misson in Boston come to her house Once a week, I learned all about her religion and even went to her church, she often took my older daughter to children affairs at her church… EVERYONE was like are you crazy , your letting your daughter go to that church. Here is what I learned, Mormons are regular people passionate about their religion, they are kind , family orientated caring people. Her religion did not define her as a person it is just her faith. Although I never had intentions to convert to LDS I was and am thankful to have learned about their religion, I am thankful that I know what people say is not true, I am thankful that 32 years later even though she has long since moved away we still share stories, Facebook and enjoy watching our grand children grown on Facebook. I will forever be thankful that she took the time to teach me about her religious beliefs and to be my friend. I really hope people stop judging others !


    • Jeannie I loved hearing your story! I can honestly say I had many of the same questions about Mormons before becoming one (yes, millions of wives??). But what a great example of what a difference getting to know a person makes. We fear what we don’t understand, but it’s been my experience that us human beings, no matter where we’re from or how we worship or what we look like, have SO much more in common than we think. We need to take the time to understand one another and show genuine respect and kindness and love. Thanks for sharing!


  4. I can see Temple Square from my front porch and have lived and worked among devout Mormons for years. I do not judge the person by whether they are Mormon. I have Mormon friends and Mormon foes in my life. Faith is faith. But in my honest opinion the church was built on a lie. In fact, many Mormons have confessed to me that their church is more a way of life than a literal belief. I think this is because the origins of the religion simply do not stand up to intelligent scrutiny. The book of Mormon is the only “religious” text I know of that is constantly being revised to remain favorable to the popular cultural values of the day. If it were a true testament as purported, any revision to the perfect word of God would be blasphemy! Yet Joseph Smith’s masterpiece was rife with racist content that has long since been edited out. Back when it was written, all that racism in the original publication was acceptable; today it would not be. If the church published the original text of the Book of Mormon today it would spell the end of the church, in my view. Modern society simply would not tolerate it. The rules of the Mormon church keep changing. The word of God as expressed in the Old and New Test aments is eternal. When considering the veracity of the Mormon church, you need to focus on this point. It is a magical mystery how Mormons can reconcile the ever-changing messages of their holy book with the timelessness of the Word of God as presented in the Old and New Testaments. I have found that most of them simply choose to ignore such obvious clues. But to any true biblical scholar, these desperate “adjustments” over time clearly show the fraudulent nature of the church. The Old and New Testaments have never been so revised to fit the cultural values of the times. The Old and New Testaments are set forth as the word of God with the message that we are created in His image. The spiritual discomfort Christians experience in their lives is proportionate to their inability to live up to God’s expectations. But the Book of Mormon relieves that tension by audaciously presenting God in man’s ever-changing image, constantly revising God’s expectations to maintain man’s spiritual comfort zone. How convenient! You ask why people think the church is a cult? Well, I am not an expert on cults, but I suspect that Joseph Smith’s decision to sell it as a “another testament” based on the Old and New testaments has raised more than a few eyebrows. Substantively, it adds nothing to the Old and New testaments. When taken in context with those publications, it clearly attempts to revise the word of God, not expand upon it. We all know that sequels are never as good as the original (the one exception of course being the Star Trek films) but the Book of Mormon does not even feel like the sequel it pretends to be to the New Testament. Joseph Smith could have created a more convincing myth by writing it as a stand-alone religious text. I think another thing that adds to the cult perception is all the propriety and secrecy. Only certain people in the church can see and do various things. The church copyrights everything it publishes. When you visit historical Mormon sites such as the Liberty jail in Kansas City, you are not allowed to take pictures. Why? Church faithful are hard pressed to justify all the propriety and secrecy, but the Jesus Christ we read about in the New Testament would certainly call them out on it in a heartbeat! Now, having said all that, this paraphrase of the final punch line in the Mormon episode of South Park sums it up pretty well: “So what if the church was built on a pack of lies… it does all sorts of great things today.”


    • Thanks for your response, I really appreciated your opinion. I will say there’s a difference between “Mormon Culture” (as is typically seen in Utah) and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (our actual Church); if people believe there is no difference between the culture that is seen throughout much of the western US and the actual Gospel of Jesus Christ found within our faith, I would argue they haven’t traveled much and possibly haven’t gained a true understanding of what our beliefs actually are. To address some of your stances, I’m not sure I understand which revisions you’re talking about to the Book of Mormon. I’m aware there have been punctuation changes, grammatical changes, and stylistic changes, but am not aware of revisions to doctrine or even the content of the book itself since it was translated and published in the 1800s; could you elaborate? On that same note, the Bible actually has hundreds of different versions and translations, and has been interpreted thousands of different ways, which is why we have scores of Christian denominations who all interpret it differently and worship differently. The Book of Mormon, which doesn’t replace the Bible (we believe the Bible to be holy scripture, as is the Book of Mormon), is actually *another* Testament of Jesus Christ written by prophets on the American continent, both before Christ’s time and after; if you read it, you’ll see it actually complements and sustains the Bible and that Jesus is the Christ. It clarifies many of the things that became unclear through mistranslation of the Bible (ie: mode of Baptism, the nature of the Trinity, etc.). I’m not sure what racist things you’re referring to that were removed. There are still a couple of passages that mention a curse of “dark” skin, that people find offensive. I really can’t address the issue you have with the Book of Mormon or the LDS Church changing with the times to conform to society…I just don’t know what you’re referring to. The Book of Mormon hasn’t changed that I’m aware of, and the LDS Church is probably one of the most traditional churches you’ll find, and many of our beliefs are actually in opposition to what “society” deems acceptable (ie: hold a traditional view of marriage, view homosexuality as sin, abortion is a sin, believe in complete chastity before marriage and total fidelity in marriage, abstain from alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc.). I’m also not sure what you mean by secrecy within the LDS Church. I’ve never been to Liberty Jail, but I’ve seen pictures from there (and other Church history sites) so I don’t think that’s a rule or regulation. Visitors are always welcome in LDS Church services and activities. The only place or “worship” that is restricted is temple worship, but that’s not specifically restrictive to non-Mormons; only Mormons who identify as being faithful in keeping the Commandments and promises they’ve made at baptism, and who interview with their bishop and church leaders worship in the temple. Not because it’s secret, but because we view it as the Lord’s house and as a very sacred place. Anyone who chooses to live their lives in-line with those standards can go to the temple. Temples were also found in Jesus’ time, and He himself threw those out who hadn’t qualified themselves to be in that sacred place. You are certainly entitled to your opinion and I’m not trying to change it, but if you have an interest in knowing if the Book of Mormon is true or if Joseph Smith made it all up, the only way to do that is to read it for yourself and decide. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!


      • If you don’t know about the revisions to the book of Mormon, you haven’t held early editions in hand as I have. And of course the church doesn’t want you to, which is why early editions are so hard to find. The changes go well beyond punctuation, and to compare deliberate substantive changes to challenges in translating ancient texts from obscure languages is… well, apples to oranges, to put it most politely. The big point here is that mainstream Christian churches painfully confront our ever-changing social fabric head-on, while the Mormon church demonstrates a proclivity to continually “evolve” with it. The continual fine-tuning of the book of Mormon is but one example of this. You don’t believe Mormon doctrine has changed since Joseph Smith’s time? Church doctrine is changing as I type these words… it is constantly changing. This is why some of us who have read the old and new Testaments get a certain itch in the back of the neck when we read the Book of Mormon. God’s Word is timeless. God NEVER changes. If God didn’t want us to drink coffee yesterday, He still wouldn’t want us to drink it today. But Postum is no longer found on the grocer’s shelves in Utah, and Mormon faithful are no longer forbidden to drink coffee (not to mention highly caffeinated soda beverages). We won’t even get into how and why the Church rewrote its position on plural marriage…


        • I can’t discuss what you’re talking about since I’m not sure, and you haven’t given any specifics. As far as coffee, that doctrine hasn’t changed since it was received as revelation in 1833…we still are commanded to not drink coffee. Of course doctrine has changed since the Church was organized, that’s one of the many benefits of having prophets and apostles (as were found in the OT and NT) and being able to receive continuing revelation. Doctrine changed throughout the course of the Bible as well (ie: the fulfilling of the Law of Moses transitioning to the new law after Christ). But I think some of your facts about the LDS Church may not be correct. If you want to discuss specifics I’d be happy to, I don’t claim to know everything, so I’d be interested in hearing what you’re referring to.


          • I had access to previous editions of the Book of Mormon many years ago. I do not have them now and did not make records of them because it was never my intent to prove anything to anyone. I simply know from past readings of previous editions that substantive changes were made over numerous editions. Even the current edition of the book should raise an eyebrow. You seem an intelligent person and should understand that the Book of Mormon was written in a time marked by certain attitudes among whites toward so-called “people of color.” The Book of Mormon provided a convenient explanation for “people of color.” Joseph Smith wrote the book for a white audience and the tone he struck was consistent with white attitudes of the time and their idyllic white, blue-eyed Jesus. As those attitudes have slowly evolved, so has the tone of the Book of Mormon. As I said in my first post, it had to. If you want details, I suggest you investigate for yourself. Be prepared to be misdirected and denied access to authentic historical materials. The Church is extremely protective of its secrets. For good reason, in my view. In many cases it has demonstrably rewritten local history. Here in Utah, kids are indoctrinated at a very early age in the public schools. Now, bear in mind that I merely offer my perspective. I am not obliged to prove anything. We each have to distinguish truth from fiction. I believe the Book of Mormon is a lie. Under that perspective, Joseph Smith was a false prophet. As some believe, It follows that following a false prophet is, shall we say, looked down upon by the God of Moses. But it is not for me to make that determination. If you are correct and I am mistaken, it is me who awaits damnation… I only offer a point of view. I wish you the best.


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    • If you said in the first that it sacred & relationship itself is awesome but when you going on to say religious or religion what ever every one has some kind of religion witch could be anything or any kind of god so why do you say you believe in FATHER SON & holy spirit the bible says everything ok that you need you do not need the other handbook that you have to say it is of you’re Jesus there is no were in the word of the bible that says he wrote of that book dude were in you’re book of Mormon says every one is a saint or saints did they write about us were all saints the bible says about all who are of JESUS Christ are in his care & holy spirit provision & so initself to do so. I think you really got to ask the holy spirit to guide you to all truth & read through the holy bible so you know ask about the SON JESUS & first of all PRAY BEFORE you can ask believe me HE WILL LET you know all truth Okdoky ur choice because MY GOD is NOT A. FORCING GOD what his WiLL for you is all up to GOD ??? With lots of LOVE of CHIRST & me through the holy spirit other than that of its self i can do nothing of myself 💜❤💙⛪😅


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  12. I have 2 friends and there both Mormon and I am a Christian. I feel like the odd one out. Both of them are BEST friends and invite each other everywhere and I don’t get invited to anything. I want to have this close relationship with them too, but I feel that since there both Mormon and I’m Christian that I can’t have a closer relationship with them because of my religion, what should I do?


    • My first thought is…are you sure religion has anything to do with the distance you perceive in these relationships?? It’s possible, but I definitely hope not.

      The one way I could see religion bringing your two friends closer together is that many Mormons in the same ward (aka congregation) spend A LOT of time together–they may work together in the same callings (aka church duties), church is 3 hours long on Sundays, the women’s organization of the church typically has planned activities at least monthly, and women also are assigned other women to personally visit monthly in their homes; point being, it’s easy to become good friends with other church members because of common beliefs, and because of the sheer amount of time spent together.

      On the other hand, there’s no reason they couldn’t be equally as close with you! I know it can be hard, but for awhile maybe make an extra concerted effort to invite them to hang out (one on one or together) to try and build that friendship–many times people don’t know how much we desire to spend time with them!

      Religion is only ONE aspect (albeit an important one for many) of a person’s life, and if you’re Christian, you and these 2 LDS ladies actually have a lot in common faith-wise (Mormons are Christian too!)! But aside from religion, spend time together doing things you all like. My next door neighbor isn’t LDS (she’s Evangelical) and I ADORE her–we have regular play dates, bake each other treats, run together, etc.–we also are very open in talking about and learning about each other’s beliefs. Long story short, we have fun together and respect each other, and I always invite her to group things even if it’s with my other friends from church.

      If those two ladies feel they can’t be close to you because you’re not Mormon, I’d say it’s time to move on and find some other cool chicks to hang out with!

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  15. So there’s a Mormon girl that I have true, deep feelings for, and she seems to have those feelings for me too. The only problem is before it didn’t matter that I don’t follow any faiths, and we just accepted each other for who we were, but lately she’s been hinting at me converting or reading the book of Mormon and things like that. I feel like she can’t accept me for my faith even though I whole heartedly accept her for hers. Am I wrong to feel like this? Can you give me some insight as to what I should do? I just don’t want to convert to something I don’t believe, I mean no offense, I respect all faiths and enjoy the better qualities of all of them. But I’m just not a spiritual person


    • I can only give you my opinion from my own experience, because I was in a VERY similar situation to what you seem to be in. When my husband and I started dating, he was Mormon and I wasn’t–in fact I didn’t go to church much at all. We both really liked each other, but as things began progressing the idea of religion seemed to keep coming up. He’d made it clear that he planned to marry a Mormon girl, and I made it very clear I wasn’t going to convert! It seemed important to me as well that my future husband and I be on the same page as far as religion/spirituality were concerned, considering it could be problematic down the road if we weren’t (especially once we decided to have kids); not to say you shouldn’t marry someone of a different faith, but if it causes disagreements or causes you to have drastically different lifestyles, it could cause tension.

      I was ready to call it quits, but he was very adamant that we both continue to learn more about each other’s faiths and continue to spend time together. He never pressured me to convert or even go to church or read the Book of Mormon, but we allowed each other to ask questions naturally as we felt comfortable.

      In my case, he ended up leaving for a semester abroad, and while he was gone I actually decided to learn more about the LDS church on my own and ended up loving it so much that I converted and was baptized–but it had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with him!

      My recommendation would be, if you both truly care about one another and see a possible future together, it’s important that you both learn as much as you can about each other–if her faith is important to her now, that probably won’t change later on. Take the time to learn what it’s all about and why it’s important to her, and she should do the same for you! If you don’t have any interest in the LDS faith beyond that, let her know–if you not converting is a deal breaker it’s better to learn that now!

      But in my opinion, do NOT join or convert to a religion you don’t believe in or agree with for someone else! You’re definitely not wrong to feel the way you do; you definitely deserve and should be with a person who loves and accepts you exactly as you are.

      Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

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  17. I’m an atheist and a friend of mine recently converted to Mormonism. I’ve heard limited things and mostly bad things about Mormons so I didn’t know how to approach him but this article was really helpful to understand how he might feel. Thank you for opening my eyes to how most Mormons really are.


    • I’m so glad this post was helpful to you! Despite what a lot of people think, I’ve found that most Mormons are open to sharing their beliefs in a non-pushy way, and are just as open to learning about the beliefs of their friends and others. I definitely think we all have a lot to learn from each other


    • That was a great list, thanks for sharing! I’m not from Utah but have lived in Utah for a year and met so many wonderful people there–LDS and non-LDS–and I have to say, the bad rap Utah Mormons get is sad to me. Rather than stereotyping, we need to take the time to get to know people individually, and maybe give them the benefit of the doubt…


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  19. I don’t usually comment on things like this, but I just wanted to let you know how much I truly appreciate what you had to say. I, too, don’t like stirring things up by talking about my religion a lot. Especially online, sometimes it feels like you just get jumped on if you admit to being LDS (I’ve had several ugly experiences with cruel, hateful anonymous messages because of it), though I’ve been lucky enough to meet people who are accepting and kind, even if they don’t share the same beliefs. Or, I should say, especially when they don’t share the same beliefs.

    That being said, and knowing full well that the internet is a cruel place, I’m shocked at the number of negative comments on this. I haven’t read everything here, but I’ve read a few, and I just don’t understand why people would feel the need to comment on a perfectly respectful blog post just to try to undermine members of a certain religion. I’m so sorry for the hurtful comments you’ve received here, but I’m still so thankful that you had the courage to say what you believe.

    I love being a member of this church, and this gospel. I love learning about Christ. Especially now, attending a church school, it’s so easy to make Him and God part of my life every single day, not just when I read my scriptures on my own. I love learning something new every day. I love growing closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I had a friend, who is a member but was/is struggling with something about herself that is very difficult, say that the people in the church aren’t perfect, because they’re human beings. But the gospel is perfect, and I have absolute faith in it and its teachings, regardless of how much someone might try to talk me out of it.

    Thank you again!

    Liked by 1 person

    • oh thank you for your kind words! I’m glad you were able to relate to the post, and I also was a bit surprised by the number of negative comments. I’m ultimately glad that it opened up a dialogue, and I’m especially grateful for people like you who aren’t afraid to stand up loud and proud for what you believe in 🙂 so thank you!


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